Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Truly, Is Anyone Going To Buy Ice Cream From You?

I haven't wrote a blog entry in about three months, and I feel so guilty. Everyone who reads my blog deserves better than from me, so I am sorry. I apologize, so now it's time to get on with the entry.

I've been bored pretty much all Summer, and I truly just want to lay in a hole like Smeagol. But my constant boredom isn't even the worst part. I have to listen everyday to an ice cream man driving by. And no one, NO ONE, can even comprehend how annoying that is. Envision this: I'm writing, having a good idea in my head, then he drives by. I lose my train of thought, and have to throw that piece of writing away. NO! And whose fault was it? His, all his. Let me explain:

He can use the excuse that he NEEDS to sell ice cream to people for money, but that isn't a logical answer. You see, one does not NEED to sell ice cream. Frankly, no one NEEDS to sell anything. It is entirely his choice for that specific occupation, and he needs to take credit for it. Because he surely takes responsibility for it when it's for something good.

As you can see, he no longer can use this excuse. So what's another? Oh, that he NEEDS to play music to aware others that he is near. Really? The loyal customers of your business should be standing on the side of road, waiting for you. Those are the customers you need to sell ice cream to, no one else. And because no one does that, that must mean you don't need to sell ice cream. My original point in the paragraph above. So if you need music to attract customers, then you need some other type of advertisement instead. My logic is proven.

What's another? Oh, I know. Children need ice cream to survive, so he is only supplying a need to humanity. Oh sure! That's what it is! No doubt! I feel nauseous now. This excuse is so outrageous and idiotic that I cannot even comprehend the reasoning. First off, the first ice cream was dated back to 400 BC, but even then it was not ice cream. It was fruit flavored ice. So this does not work. Common ice cream that we eat today was only created in 1846 when the hand-cranked ice cream maker was created. So how did humans survive for all the time before 1846, or even before 400 BC? They just did, because ice cream is not necessary. Trust me, I've gone a week without ice cream recently and I'm perfectly fine.

So what else does he have? Nothing else. I have logically disproved the ice cream man and now he must go away. You are free to use these suggestions in court against him if you want. I know I'll use them, so why can't you? Just mention my name, and they'll know exactly who to believe. I'm known in the court system as a genius, and they respect me highly. Your welcome.

No comments:

Post a Comment