Thursday, March 17, 2011

Is This The Real Life?

I'm pretty sure it isn't. But what's to do? Absolutely nothing. Unless we can somehow intervene with a Higgs Boson particle and disrupt the fabric of space time like the thin silk it is. But I am rambling. Always rambling. Like a pig on Christmas. How is this like a pig on Christmas? I have no idea. But let us look at a situation similar to this:

This pig's name is Paul. No specific reason why, I just like the name Paul. Anyways, this pig is sitting at the family table with a few humans. Because you know, humans eat their Christmas dinner with their pet pigs. They do it all the time. Nevertheless, Paul speaks like a human which is a feat in itself. So he can express his opinions on things with ease, like us humans naturally can. Which isn't that good, but you know, we must SUFFER!

Anyways, as they are sitting at the table, Paul picks up his fork. Because his pig-hands can do that, duh. His owners are eating some broccoli casserole, which they spent four days making. Why exactly it took four days to make is beyond me. So when they pass the bowl of broccoli casserole over to Paul, he tries to pick it up but it falls on the ground and shatters all over the floor. In agony, he cleans it up and apologizes. They give him a weird look of, "Well, okay ... it's not a big deal," but no, it IS a big deal. He spends most of the dinner grunting as he cleans up his mess. And frankly, this part is somewhat unnecessary since it has nothing to do with the fact this is is the real life, (well, pigs can talk, so I guess that's the purpose that this is fictional ... or is it?), but what can I say?

As Paul rambles to himself about his mistake (HA! THAT WAS WHERE I CONNECT THIS STORY TO RAMBLING) he notices that he is merely cleaning the already spotless floor. The mess was all cleaned up and they were almost done eating. In fear, he sits back at the table and begins to eat some potatoes. And it happens. A drum begins to slowly play as the suspense becomes unbearable. The wife of the owner comes in with a plate of ... ham. Yes, ham. Paul freaks the freak out and runs away. Nice going wife! But Paul comes back so don't worry.

That was pretty much the whole purpose of this post. I was thinking about this at school and wanted to write about it. Well, how scared would you be if a family of pigs were serving human meat? Pretty darn scared, am I right? Anyways, thanks for reading and be expecting a few more posts in this next week. I'm pretty bored and have A LOT of ideas to talk about. Oh, and if you could follow this blog so you don't have to actually check it all the time and could just get messages if I make a new entry, that would be fantastic for both of us. I like seeing a few new followers in my followers box. It could be from my OCD, which is minor, but still ... I like seeing that. But doesn't everybody?

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